It's Always the Path of Self Love

I’ve been thinking about this season lately as a time of quiet clarity. For me this means getting serious about releasing old stories I don’t wish to carry with me into the new year. 

The inner growth and expansion are palpable right now, like a seed sending its very first roots down into the dark soil. The way this often shows up for me is frustration and an exasperated inner dialogue that says enough is enough already! These old patterns have got to go. 

Fortunately it’s a familiar landscape, and I can see a well-worn path forward. It’s always the path of self love.  

Will you sit with me here for a few minutes while I tell you how I finally let go of one of my oldest and most painful stories and found the path of growth?

I struggled big time with self love for decades. When I did chakra meditations, I could feel an actual blockage in my heart as if I had built a stone fortress around it. I felt broken.  

I’ve been a romantic for as long as I can remember, but somewhere along the way I took on the belief that I wasn’t lovable. In my adolescence these two perspectives were in competition. I’d get a crush on someone, whip myself up into a romantic frenzy, and profess my feelings. 

This led to a string of painful rejections that fed the beast of self loathing growing inside me and caused my romantic heart to essentially give up on ever having real love.  

10 years and one loveless marriage later, I said enough is enough already.  

I began to pursue healing and self love with a burning passion. For me this involved spiritual practices, mindfulness, expanded states of consciousness, therapy, journaling, and reparenting myself as I was parenting my kids. 

The path was windy and challenging at times—definitely not linear—but the more I practiced, the softer my heart became. The stone walls slowly came down, and I could feel a new story taking shape. I was not only lovable in theory…I knew that I was divinely loved. 

It was then that my wildest, most romantic dreams came true.  

Without even intending to, I manifested my soul mate. Stay in the vibration of love long enough, and love will come and find you!

So what stories are you ready to let go of in this dark, quiet time of year? 

May I make a suggestion for helping you get on the path of self love? 

Visualize This 

Imagine a much older and wiser version of yourself. Do they exude love? If not, imagine them even further along on their journey, perhaps even several lifetimes in the future. Keep going until you can sense tremendous love and wisdom. 

Imagine yourself sitting down for a chat with them, maybe over a really fabulous cup of tea. They have all the time in the world, and there’s nowhere else they would rather be than here with you. They ask you about this story you’re ready to let go of in your life, this pattern that’s holding you back from being your full, vibrant self.  

Feeling so safe and cared for, you spill your guts. You let them know exactly how you feel and all your deepest darkest fears about this story and your ability to grow beyond it. You lay it all out there in the open, and You-From-The-Future listens to all of it with endless love and understanding.  

What do I do about all this? you ask.  

They begin to respond. You sit quietly and take it all in. The love. The wisdom. The guidance. The truth.  

When your conversation is over, you know that you can return any time—that they will always be here for you. 

Take some time to journal what you noticed. Body sensations, emotions, shifts in energy, insights you wish to carry forward.

Blessings, friends!