I know an INFINITE SOURCE when I see one.

I heard my 79 year old landlord say that she and her husband have been talking lately about how wild things are. They've seen a lot of change over the years, but nothing like this. She very matter-of-factly said it might be the end of the world. And you know what? I appreciate the bravery it took to come out and say the thing many of us are secretly wondering about.

I agree. We're living through a time of tremendous system collapse, and many things are about to end. But I feel an untamable optimism about the world. I see this as not just an ending but a beginning. A beginning my soul has been yearning for since my consciousness woke up in this avatar.

So let's go ahead and face it head on, shall we?

I believe this shift has a lot to do with spiritual awakening, or a growing awareness of our connection to something greater. This is happening both on a personal and a collective level, but either way, the process is not comfortable. It can feel like being split in half, especially when we cling to the perceived safety of what we’ve always known, the identity we've spent our lives working to solidify. 

It reminds me of the ancient Dakhla Oasis in Egypt’s Western Desert, a natural depression where even fairly shallow wells can reach the aquifer — a very old and finite water source which provides for multiple towns and miles of farmland. I imagine that long ago when people settled there, they thought the water would last forever. But with projected population growth and current conservation efforts, it’s estimated to last only 300 - 500 more years. 

📸: Gunter Hartnagel

And yet, builders keep building, investors keep investing, and people keep moving there, many of them being squeezed out, physically and financially, from the Nile river valley.  

This lush oasis seems so solid. The first towns were built over 4,000 years ago, and when you see the magnificent ancient architecture, it’s easy to believe the Dakhla way of life will last forever. But when we’re talking about an ancient civilization, three to five hundred years is truly the blink of an eye. What seems so safe, fixed, and reliable…is headed for change.

At this point in history, we as a species are headed for massive change on a global scale, and it’s time we take a hard look at things that seem like they’ve stood the test of time. I’m talking about the systems we live within, like government, currency, education, media, and religion. 

For 10+ years I built up my identity around conservative Christianity. I was deeply dedicated, to the point that I continued investing and building… even after I began to suspect that the system wasn’t founded on an infinite source. A truly infinite source wouldn’t act like a punitive tyrant, demand sacrifices, call themselves jealous, or command acts of cruelty. 

For me, the first domino to fall was the doctrine of hell. I wasn’t very well acquainted with love until I had children. When you grow up in a household with scary adults, a scary god makes sense, but once I became a parent and worked to heal my trauma and break cycles of violence, I began to perceive a rotten stench coming from the god that “father Abraham” made a blood covenant with all those millennia ago. 

Since then I’ve discovered ancient Gnostic texts and many other sources that support my suspicions. But this unravelling started in my heart. My own center of knowing. 

I want to make it very clear that I’m not against Christians. I know so many lovely people who really do have deep, innocent desires to connect to something greater, to have community, and to be part of a spiritual heritage or tradition.  

It’s our nature to desire these things. Spiritual and community connection was central to our ancestors’ lives before it was stripped away and punished by empirical forces. These same forces continue to colonize, enslave, take away native identity, commit genocide, and occupy stolen land. 

What I’m hoping more people will wake up and see is that the major religions of this world — not the spiritual philosophies, but the established orthodoxies — have been molded by these empirical forces. They are not built on an infinite source, and, solid as they may seem, their time is coming to an end. 

What other systems do we continue to invest in even though we see the writing on the wall? That’s what I’ve been asking myself lately. 

American healthcare is a straight up scam. Our food system is intentionally broken and poisoning our bodies and the earth. We live in a world where one individual has over A TRILLION DOLLARS and there are people who cannot afford housing. And most of these horrendous systems are supported by tax dollars.

This is not sustainable. 

This is not wise. 

No need to get in a panic over it or fall into depression. That only feeds the controlling malevolent forces. 

But we can choose to wake up and start making different choices for ourselves, our families, and our immediate communities. We can reclaim our sovereignty. We can envision a better world and begin working toward it. 

If you’re also interested in reclaiming spirituality, like me, here are a couple things I’d like to leave you with. 

First, neuroscience shows us that spirituality and religion are two very different things and often exist independently of one another. For more on this, I recommend Dr. Lisa Miller’s book, The Awakened Brain. 

Second, the final crack in the dam for my involvement with the Church came from a contemporary philosopher who was reflecting on Christian evangelism and asked this one simple question: 

If god’s love doesn’t feel like love, then what good is it to me?

As you explore the great mysterious Source we call God, I encourage you to use your own heart as your primary source of knowing. Question everything. Some things that appear ancient and solid are about to give way.