Connection is the Antidote

I was going to write today about a new coaching tool I developed for decision making. And I’m sure I’ll get to it eventually, but it didn’t feel very aligned for me in this moment. 

Can we just meet here instead, human to human? 

These are really turbulent times. We are facing more change than ever before. Lies and dark secrets are coming to light. Victims are speaking out. Average people are under tremendous financial strain while the grotesquely rich hoard even more. The old systems, rooted in ignorance and oppression, are at their breaking point, losing their grip on the masses. Their crazed and violent acts of retaliation targeting the most vulnerable. 

But I see people coming together, too. I see genuine care and concern stretching across cultures, races, religions and every identity imaginable. Propaganda just doesn’t sway opinion like it used to when we’re all so connected and the facts are just a few clicks or taps of a screen away.

Connection is the antidote. Not just for sharing information, but for re-humanizing one another. 

This is much easier said than done in the heat of the moment. I've been thinking back to last year when Charlie Kirk was assassinated. I saw several people online, some in close social proximity to me, casting blame and wishing harm...actual harm...toward people with more progressive views…people like me. 

And let me tell you, it’s really hard to connect with others and see them as human when we’re being threatened, either implicitly or directly. 

I sat in this discomfort for a while, asking Spirit what to do. How to move forward. 

Then I was shown an important truth…they’re afraid too. 

The people who enact violence are terrified. For, underneath hatred lies fear. 

In meditation, I went back to the most beautiful moment of a large dose psychedelic journey I had a couple of years ago. I was in the presence of pure, divine love. The Cosmic Mother, I called her. In my journey, she drew me close and helped me come to terms with human suffering. Not to judge it, but to see how she has unconditional love and understanding for all her children. 

So a couple of months ago, when it looked as if America was on the brink of a civil war, I sat with the intention of seeing my fellow human beings the way she sees them. And you know what? It really did something to me. I no longer see enemies; I see precious people who need help. Whether they get it in this life or beyond is up to them. But I truly believe that our collective love and healing intent will have a positive impact on those who are trapped under layer upon layer of fear and hatred. 

These are precarious times. The survival of our species and millions of other earthlings hangs in the balance, and it feels like we’re all holding our breath, waiting to see how the story ends. 

Yes…I still catch myself in this paralyzed state on occasion. But then I sit with the Cosmic Mother again, and let her wisdom hold me from within. 

I’d like to see if I can extend this connection to an otherworldly source of love with you. So I have a little practice I’d like to share. It’s based on Internal Family Systems and, more broadly, parts theory. 

I call it...

A Q&A Session with Self

You’ll need a comfortable place to sit or lay and some time where you won’t be interrupted. 

Start by imagining a large room with lots of comfy places to sit. Maybe it’s a lodge with a big stone fireplace or one of those groovy sunken living room conversation pits of the 1960s. 

Imagine inviting all your parts to come and have a seat. Your childlike creativity, your analyzer, your rebellious teen, even your inner critic. Invite them all to come and find a cozy spot to sit. 

Once you feel everyone is present, imagine taking a step or two back from them so you can see them all from a wider perspective. 

As you look at the group, ask yourself, “How do I feel toward them?”

If the answer is calm, curious, compassionate, playful, patient, confident, or any other high-vibration characteristics, you have successfully unblended from your parts and become rooted in what IFS calls Self. If you feel some other emotion of a lower vibration, lovingly invite that Part to have a seat with the others, and keep doing that until you know you’ve shifted into Self, always asking that key question…how do I feel toward them?

Once you are fully unblended, and you are standing back where you can see everyone, it’s time for some Q&A.

Try asking Self some or all of the following questions:

• What does Self have to say about being in the world during these wild times?

• Does it have any wisdom to share about what is happening right now?

• Does it have any advice for you and your life?

Consider allowing your Parts to come forward with their own questions for Self.

When the exercise feels complete, lovingly invite your parts to go wherever they feel safest and most comfortable. Perhaps that lodge or groovy midcentury house has lots of adjacent rooms made just for them.

Don't forget to journal your reflections.

I’m so curious to know what came up for all of you. Please do reply if you feel inclined!